What's with all the homework over Thanksgiving Break?

So it's Sunday- the last day of our 5-day weekend, and I can't help but feel like mush. My brain's totally fried- and school hasn't even started yet!!!! You wanna know why? (You actually probably don't care at all why, but I'll tell you anyway...) I got worked over with homework this weekend! I think I had around 8 or 9 hours worth! The worst part of it is that I had to take all of it with me on my "vacation" to Las Vegas and work on it there. It was so frustrating because just as I'd start to relax, I'd remember the beastly chores that were seemingly screaming out at me in my gigantic backpack. Quite frankly I was not thrilled.

I mean, I know I've got some harder classes this year, and I knew that I would have to do some work, but 9 hours? 9 hours? And work in 5 of 8 classes (one of which is seminary)?????? That wasn't too cool if you know what I mean.... I had to work by rear off and I don't even feel very accomplished with the chunk I did manage to complete. It sucks.

So why did so many teachers give so much work?

In the good old days (like in the years before this year), I remember getting small, insignificant assignments that were usually worth extra credit or only were worth a few points on my grade. But this last break's assignments were HUGE!!!! It's because teachers tend to have that same idea that their class is the most important. Now, I have nothing against that mindset- I know that the best teachers feel that way about the subject they teach- but it is unnecessary to give out so much. One, two, even three hours worth is understandable, but 9 or 10 is a bit too extreme.

How could people be falling asleep during MVHS production of Les Miserables?

So, the MVHS drama department pulled off a very well-done production of Les Miserables this weekend. I had the opportunity of attending it on Friday night with my family and all of us enjoyed it. But while we were enjoying it, I noticed that there were a number of people who were falling asleep around us. My mom reported that one boy "was completely out cold, almost to the point of drooling." Another guy was nodding off and another was going through that process of letting his eyelids fall over his eyes then very torturously wrenching them back open, only to let them fall back down again.

And guys were not the only gender falling asleep... there were plenty of girls doing it too.

I then looked at my watch and realised it was only 7:45....

Well, what was with them? Not even 5 year olds can fall asleep that early on a regular night, let alone a Friday night of all nights! I came to this conclusion: they were simply bored.

How on earth a person could possibly be bored during a production like that I really can't comprehend. There was a ton of noise- gun shots, yells and screams, and of course all the singing. Then it hit me- not everyone likes that sort of stuff. Opera appeals to a certain crowd, and that crowd excludes a lot of different people. And that right there is the beauty of those bored people, they're just different! Simply looking around the room I could tell precisely who the artsy fartsy type of people were, and who the not-artsy-fartsy type of people were. It was so interesting. I also found that many of those people who were bored simply could not follow the plot because all the commentary was in the singing form and that's not a good way for them to learn or understand! It was fascinating!

Why don't people take showers???

Don't you hate it when you're around people that stink (literally)? I think it's the worst thing ever when you get stuck sitting next to, talking with, standing around, walking with, etc. people who simply smell terrible. You just want to yell at them "COME ON! GET A CLUE! YOU STINK, SO TAKE A MAJOR SHOWER AND USE EXTRA STRONG SOAP!!!!" (I'd like to add that I'm writing this blog with no particular person in mind- just stinky people in general.)

The process of eliminating unnecessary B.O. is simple: undress, turn the shower to hot, step in, soap up, wash off, get out, dry off, and put on deodorant. I know it's a lot of words, but even for people who absolutely HATE taking showers (and I don't know how they can possibly hate them) it's a process that can take 2 or 3 minutes. I mean COME ON, it's not that hard! In fact, those 2 or 3 minutes (personally I take between 10 to 15 minutes- but that's cause I LOVE showers:) ) cause more good, than bad- the biggest social benefit being that you're saving those people's lives around you.

It's really not hard, and even if you're in an enormous hurry, there's no plausible excuse for taking a quick shower. In fact, I bet almost every employer in this world would allow an employee to be 5 minutes late if he knew they'd spent part of that late time showering. Smelly people just suck to be around cause they simply WREAK! And even worse, most of those people don't shower because they decide they'd rather sleep for those few minutes they'd instead be showering during. Honestly, it's a ridiculous problem that shouldn't be a problem. Waking up- or rather simply getting out of bed- 5 minutes earlier wouldn't do the sleeper any harm and would cause a lot of good for everyone who comes in contact with him/her. It's not hard, it's not time consuming, and it's beneficial not only to the showerer but also to the people around him. Come on America- take a shower!!!!

Why does "farting" make women (mothers in particular) shudder?

This question ran through my mind the other night while I was eating dinner with my family. My younger brother had just let a HUGE one go, and my mother, half horrified, half disgusted, got angry at him, telling him that if he did that again, she'd dismiss him from the table. My brothers, dad, and I, however, just started laughing (which made her even more angry). So I asked myself this question.

Afterall, farting is perfectly natural, everybody does it (which is a fact even the most uptight mothers could not even dismiss). But I've found that the reactions of the two genders towards the matter are completely the opposite (as is apparent in the first paragraph). Typically, men laugh and try to outdo each other. Women, on the other hand, are utterly disgusted by even the slightest fart, and may even act as though nothing has occurred when they "accidently" rip one off....

In a book I recently read called "The Fart Book", written by Donald Wetzel, I found an interesting passage. In this book, it discussed a particular fart it deemed "The Girls Don't Fart Fart." This title was followed by a short paragraph which read: "...any fart by a girl. A girl can fart a fart that will shake the walls or blow little birds right out of their nests, but the girl will never give a sign. You are supposed to ignore it. It may be hard to do, but you better do it. With girls, this is the most common fart there is." At first I just laughed, but then I realized that this statement is totally true!

But why do girls simply loathe the concept of farting?

Honestly, it's because there is such a big pressure on women to be what the celebrities and ninny fashion-freaks in Paris deem "lady-like." These people (all of whom fart, though they'd never admit it- even if you held an AK-47 to their heads) tell women that they always need to be "beautiful," and that anything loud or stinky protruding from them is MOST DEFINITELY NOT LADY-LIKE. Most men, though, would just laugh- not to embarass the girl, but to show that it is indeed a funny natural process, and may attempt to outdo her if they were in a competitive mindset.

Farting is a normal process that just happens to BE funny, it's not a sin. There is no reason whatsoever for women to get all offended by it. Everybody does it, everybody HAS to do it- it's just like going to the restroom. It's LIFE! Enjoy it!