Tardiness: the Ever-Growing American Scourge

I hate being late. And I hate it when other people are late.

Tardiness is increasingly becoming a international stereotype of Americans. Our airplanes leave late, our buses arrive late, our students come to school late, our workers come to work late, our subways are late, our patients are late to their doctor appointments, our homework assignments and our work are late... everything seems to be becoming late!!!

And frankly, it's ridiculous.

The reasons for all this tardiness seem too simple to be true, but, believe it or not, they are as true as true can be. More and more Americans are sleeping in later. More and more Americans are procrastinating completing assignments. More and more Americans are not organizing their time wisely, and are overwhelming themselves with hobbies and activities that cut into precious time they need to finish their work. They're staying up later, cutting into the amount of sleep they need each night.

Solutions to this problem are simple. Instead of trying to get better at all of our talents and hobbies all at once, we should be focussing on getting our current assignments and projects finished. I'm not saying we shouldn't be improving our abilities and talents, but we should be working on them one or two or three at a time. Afterall, the average American is supposed to be living into his eighties. Eighty years is more than enough time to work on hobbies and talents that never really have a final due date. Assignments, projects, homework, and labs, however, do have due dates, and should take the priority. If we focus on these things first, doing our hobbies in our spare time, we'll all be less stressed, get more sleep, and ultimately be on time. No more tardiness and no more embarrasing stereotypes.

Belly Buttons: Are you an Innie or an Outie?

Okay, so a while back a kid (whose name I'll keep anonymous for his/her safety), had the nerve to ask me if I had an innie or an outie... and this kid asked it as if that single characteristic alone would dictate what type of person I was! It was outrageous! Anyhow, I told him/her that I had an innie, and this kid kinda looked at me weird.....

Well it bugged me enough that I decided to go and research the my question: why does being an innie or an outie really matter? The answer I found was kinda interesting....

First of all, the kid shouldn't have looked at me funny when I said I had an innie since around 90% of all people supposedly have innies. That means, obviously, that only around 10% of people have outies, making people with outies a minority in the total population of human belly buttons in this world.

Second, I came to the realization that the belly button is the center of the human body and, even more important, it's "the sole button on your birthday suit" (www.salon.com). According to a Japanese spiritualist, Hogen Fukunaga, "the navel is the core of everything about [a] person." To many people the belly button tells what kind of a personality a person has: outies are outgoing, energetic, and stick out in the crowd; and innies are more quiet and laid back.

To me, this system seems a bit shallow, since there are so many different types of people in this world with so many different personality types, yet only two types of belly button. Furthermore, I discovered that what type of belly button you get when you're a baby is totally random. No one can decide what type you get.

Although, this whole belly button thing does bug some people, so some of them have a plastic surgeon do a special operation called Reduction Umbilicoplasty Belly Button Surgery, and totally resculpt their belly buttons.

Personally, I think the whole thing's absurd, but what do I know????

Is your mom an oniomaniac? How about your grandma? your great-grandma?

I don't think I've ever met a mom who doesn't love shopping. By now, in fact, I think it's 'universally acknowledged' that all mothers are certainly shoppers. Well, that's precisely what an oniomaniac is... a person obsessed with shopping.

All the mothers in my family are oniomaniacs, especially my grandma. It's kinda funny listening to them when they're getting ready for big sales... or even just a "quick" stop at Costco. They have these HUGE coupon books, full of coupons they've found in newspapers, magazines, or any other nooks and crannies that you can think of.

Often, I've wondered what on earth it is that makes them so obsessed with shopping! I mean, I can hardly stand walking around a store for longer than an hour, but my mom, grandma, aunts, even my 90 year old great-grandmother can go at it for 3 or 4 hour intervals!!! It kills me!

So, why shopping is so appealing to them and other mothers? Is there something programed inside them that keeps them alive for that long? Or do they just like to spend money?

Well, I think they just plain like shopping. They can go and look through all the new fashion styles and be as pick-and-choosey as they want. At the grocery store, they like knowing that they have the power to choose exactly what they'll be putting on their childrens' plates for the next few days. And they could just like to spend money, whether it be for themselves, their kids, or other people. They probably get some sense of power being able to spend money in almost any amount on almost anything. And they like having that power over the wallet....

The Stare of Stares

This week's blog focuses on a subject almost everybody, of both genders, has encountered at some point or other during their school career. That focus is: The Stare of Stares.

First and foremost, The Stare of Stares has many names. Similar phrases and words I've come across are: The Look, gaping, and gawking. All these words refer to the same Stare of Stares.

Second, it's inevitable. Each of us has done it and continues to do it. That's the way it is. And that's why it's so hilarious....

To explain it simply, I'll illustrate an easily understood experience:

A guy is sitting with his friends in the cafeteria at his high school, or wherever else, when he suddenly spots a HOT girl out of the corner of his eye. He turns his head to get a full shot of the girl... and he stares. And he stares. And he stares. For however long, he simply cannot take his eye off this girl, and he gets completely lost in his emotions as he absorbs her that he loses all awareness of whatever is going on around him. He is completely tuned out to the world around him, and doesn't even notice when the girl sees him staring at her and, feeling totally awkward, smiles or waves or whatever, partly to break the ice and partly to tell him that she knows he's giving her the stare.

Now, I'm a guy and in my experience I've caught some girls giving me the Stare before (usually in a situation similar to this one, the, of course, the genders being flipped around). I also gotta admit that I too have given it (but usually I can catch myself just in time and can cut the Staring pretty quickly, though it is hard to). But as I've experienced this Stare of Stares, and as I've watched countless others doing it, I can't help but wonder why it is that humans do it.

It's really simple: it's just another symptom of being love-struck. The Stare of Stares has been around since the beginning of the human race. It has evolved with our emotional tendencies to the point that it has become etched in each of our brains. And because it has been scratched so deeply into our minds, it almost always goes unnoticed by the person doing it. It's really quite funny once you realize it....